Disciple – Dear X (You Don’t Own Me)

My first experience with Disciple was at a multi-band concert that included several artists, including my father’s band which shall remain unnamed.  My sisters, brother, and I entered for free through my dad.  We had no idea who Disciple was nor had we heard anything heavier than Petra.  While my other younger siblings were eating it up, I hated the heavy rock sound!  The only song I liked from their line-up was I Just Know.

Several years later, I became used to the heavier sound.  I enjoy it!  Disciple is one of my favorite go-to bands for what I thought was biblically accurate music.  After all, they include Bible verses in their lyrics!  However, it is always good to double-check their references.

Unfortunately, I lost my booklet for Horseshoes & Handgrenades, which includes the song Dear X (You Don’t Own Me); however, according to an interview with News Release Today, the verses Kevin Young, Disciples’ main writer and frontman, quotes Genesis 4:7, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, and Hebrews 4:14-16 as the pain source behind these lyrics.  Since this is an independent review, I will not dock points if these verses are not included; however, I will if they are taken out of context.

UPDATE: To keep this consistent with other reviews, I downgraded sections 1, 2, and 4 by 1 point, bringing down the final score from 8.5/10 to 8/10.

Note to new users: This is a different kind of review site!  Read About the Berean Test and Evaluation Criteria prior to reading this review.

1. What message does the song communicate?

Disciple metaphorically writes four letters to pain, shame, hate, and anger, reminiscing of the “good times” they had, the lull and allure that drew them.  Disciple belonged to these four emotions; however, they walked away.  Not one to give up, these four emotions (most likely under the guise of Satan) will not give up.  They still want control of Disciple.  They chase Disciple down.

Disciple dares these four emotions to try, but they will not succeed.  They won’t break Disciple.  At best, they have a gun with no bullets to fight with.  Disciple speaks to these four emotions, declaring “you don’t own me”.

Of course, such a bold declaration presumes that something (or someone) has now occupied their attention.  Disciple has not made it clear who or what this “something” is that replaced these four emotions.  It is Jesus?  They are Christians, after all.  Whatever it is, it is probably closer to Jesus than the four emotions described here.

Score: 8/10

2. How much of the lyrics line up with Scripture?

Although this is not a song about God or Jesus per se, we can still use the Bible to draw parallels in Disciples’ experience, as recorded throughout these lyrics and show that their experience is consistent with Biblical teaching.  Lyrics posted with permission.*

[Verse 1]

Dear pain, oh, it’s been a long time
Remember when you were holding me tight
I would stay awake with you all night

The pain that Disciple feels is so horrendous that they are awake all night with it.  Perhaps they, like Job in Job 3:1-14 and Job 6:8-11, or Elijah in 1 Kings 19:2-4, or Jonah in Jonah 4:8, would rather die than to continue with the pain they feel.

Dear shame, I was safe in your arms
You were there when it all fell apart
I would get so lost in your beautiful lies

Although we should experience shame when we commit wrongdoing, a shame that leads to repentance (see Psalm 51:1-19 for an excellent model), clinging onto shame puts Disciple into despair.  Like Judas, who hung himself after experiencing regret for his transgression (Matthew 27:1-5), many will consider suicide after much self-loathing.

[Pre-Chorus]

I let you go but you’re still chasing

How was Disciple able to let go?  This is not explained.  Nonetheless, pain and shame are still coming for Disciple.  There is a spiritual war that play here (see Romans 7:21-25, Ephesians 6:12-17, and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5).  Repeated for hate and anger later in the song.

[Chorus 1]

Go ahead, you’re never going to take me
You can bend, but you’re never going to break me
I was yours, I’m not yours anymore
You don’t own me

Bold declarations by Disciple, speaking to the first two emotions in Verse 1 and the last two in Verse 2.  Unless Disciple is fighting with the Word of God like Jesus did in Matthew 4:1-11 and Luke 4:1-13 (also see 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and Hebrews 4:12), they will likely find themselves in the same situation as the man in Matthew 12:43-45 and Luke 11:24-26: worse off than before.

[Verse 2]

Dear hate, I know you’re not far
You would wait at the door of my heart
I was amazed at the passion in your cries

This was the experience of Cain, who was angry with his brother Abel because Abel’s sacrifice was accepted and his was not.  According to Genesis 4:1-7, God warned Cain that sin is crouching at the door.  its desire is for you!  We know what happened next.  Satan “devoured” Cain (1 Peter 5:8), controlling his actions and leading to Abel’s murder.

Dear anger, you made me so high
You were faithful to show up on time
Such a flame that was burning in your eyes

We established Cain’s anger above.  Although righteous anger does exist (see Ephesians 4:26), most anger is not, hence the designation as a negative emotion.  Experientially, there is a “high” ness that comes with anger.  It takes over.  We lose our sober mind and allow Satan to take over (see 1 Peter 5:8).

[Chorus 2]

Go ahead, you’re never going to take me
You can bend, but you’re never going to break me
I was yours, I’m not yours anymore
You don’t own me

Repeats Chorus 1.

Go ahead, put a target on my forehead
You can fire, but you’ve got no bullet

Another bold declaration that these four emotions are powerless, like a gun with no bullets.  See comments in Chorus 1, above.

I was yours, I’m not yours anymore
You don’t own me

Repeats Chorus 1, lines 3-4.

[Bridge]

You tempted me to look back
But everything that we had together was a lie

We saw hints of this throughout the lyrics, particularly in Verse 1, line 6 and the pre-chorus.  Disciple sees through the deception of pain, shame, hate, and (unrighteous) anger.  They will not be taken captive again.  Assuming that they cling onto Jesus, they have escaped the snare of the Devil (2 Timothy 2:26) and have become sober-minded (see Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5, and 1 Peter 5:8).

NOTE: I did not see 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 or Hebrews 4:14-16 anywhere in these lyrics.

Score: 8/10

3. How would an outsider interpret the song?

Although an outsider to Christianity will not be drawn to Jesus directly, it will serve as a testimony for those who desire to rid themselves of pain, shame, hate, and anger.  There are some who can identify with Disciple’s struggle and departure from these four emotions.  We can only hope that Disciple’s testimony throughout these lyrics will draw some to ask questions about Jesus.

Score: 7/10

4. What does this song glorify?

From examining the lyrics alone, we can only say what it does not glorify.  It does not glorify pain, shame, hate, and anger.  Does it glorify God?  I have mixed feelings.  On the one hand, we know that Disciple is Christian and has fruit that established it.  On the other hand, there is no mention of God anywhere throughout this song.

However, we cannot expect every song to mention God.  The book of Esther, for example, has no mention of God, yet is included as part of the canon of Scripture.  It was God who saved her people through her, that much is clear.  Yet, the name “God” is nowhere to be found.

We can apply the same principle here.  Although no mention of “God” or “Jesus” is within these lyrics, there is still an indirect glorification of God in that Disciple has left these four emotions for something better.

Score: 8/10

Closing Comments

Disciple’s Dear X (You Don’t Own Me) is an emotional roller-coaster, speaking out against the allure of pain, shame, hate, and anger.  Although there is a time and a place for these emotions, Disciple has clearly demonstrated that they are not to be glorified, nor shall we allow them to enslave us.  This song can minister to those who are contemplating suicide and will hopefully invite questions about Disciples’ own testimony, leading people to Christ.

Final Score: 8/10

Artist Info

Track: Dear X (You Don’t Own Me) (listen to the song)

Artist: Disciple

Album: Horseshoes & Handgrenades

Genre: Hard Rock

Release Year: 2010

Duration: 3:34

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*Copyright © 2010 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Designer Music (SESAC) Things Left Unsaid Publishing (SESAC) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) / Pneumatic Man Publishing (ASCAP) All rights reserved. Used by permission.